GROCERY STORE"
by peerless baun
Summary: The gang goes to a grand opening George gets a "bad cart"


SEINFELD  
  
  
  
Zoom out to grocery store with grand opening sign in Jerry's neighborhood  
  
PARKING LOT  
  
Jerry and George are walking, George grabs a cart  
  
Jerry: What are you doing, just get a cart inside?  
  
George: No way, the prime carts are out here my friend.  
  
Jerry: Whatta you mean?  
  
George: Whenever I go inside I get stuck with that one cart where the wheel doesn't quite turn and it makes that little sound, you know rree rree rree.  
  
Jerry: But that ones all wet.  
  
George: Trust me, it's worth it.  
  
INSIDE  
  
Jerry sees Kramer by a coinstar machine, with a 50-gallon drum  
  
Jerry: What's with the drum?  
  
Kramer: Oh, Newman tells me these things cheat you out of change, I'm here to expose.  
  
Jerry: What?  
  
Kramer: Expose Jerry, expose!  
  
George: I've tried it before it seemed to work fine.  
  
Jerry: That's because it does.  
  
Kramer: Sure, with small amounts of change, the big bucks, that's where it gets you. I'm counting one by one, they'll slip, you watch.  
  
Jerry: All right see you later.  
  
Kramer: Yeah, two fifty-eight, two fifty-nine.  
  
George heads down an isle while jerry heads toward the bathrooms  
  
George leaves his cart to grab some Chef Boyardee pasta; a store employee grabs his cart and walks away. George looks up to see where it went and he's gone  
  
George (moaning): Whoahoho!  
  
George walks to the front to grab a new cart, sees Kramer  
  
George: So how's it goin'?  
  
Kramer: Aww so far its exact, I'm having doubts you know.  
  
George: Hang in there.  
  
George grabs the last cart, as he walks it is jerking to the left, rree rree rree  
  
George: You see this?  
  
Kramer: Oh yeah, rree rree rree, I get mine outside.  
  
George: So do I!  
  
BATHROOM  
  
Jerry thinks to himself  
  
"This is a really nice bathroom, they have everything and it's all automatic. The toilet can flush itself even if your forty feet away, the hand dryer has different temperature settings, the store can afford all this, but not a single clock"  
  
As Jerry exits the rest rooms he bumps into Elaine  
  
Jerry: Hey.  
  
Elaine: I'm not that impressed; all this place has is food.  
  
Jerry (pausing with a stare): "GROCERY STORE".  
  
Elaine: I know but.  
  
Interrupted by same store employee in George's incident  
  
Employee: Excuse me miss, you've been standing around for about a half-an- hour and you don't plan on buying anything do you.  
  
Elaine: I'm just looking.  
  
Employee: I'm not sure where you shop normally but we encourage purchasing here.  
  
Elaine: Well maybe I'll take my business elsewhere.  
  
Employee: No, I don't think so.  
  
Elaine: What?  
  
Employee: You can't resist a grand opening, why don't you get yourself a cart.  
  
Elaine: All right.  
  
Jerry still looking at the bathroom trails a few seconds behind  
  
Elaine and jerry both thinking to themselves  
  
Jerry "I should speed up, I don't like trailing behind"  
  
Elaine "Should I slow down, he's a little behind"  
  
Jerry "Naw if I catch up people would take me as some kind of a speed walker, to good to walk at a normal pace"  
  
Elaine "Why doesn't he just speed up"  
  
Elaine stops and Jerry speeds up past her, then they walk together as though nothing had happened  
  
AISLE  
  
George is pushing his cart, knocking over displays, bumping into people, using his entire body to steer  
  
George: It's not my fault, the wheel sticks.  
  
Old lady: Maniac!  
  
George: I'm not making it up, listen to the rree rree rree, you can't fake an rree rree rree!  
  
George sees his good cart  
  
George: That's my good cart!  
  
Employee: This was abandoned.  
  
George: No really, it's my cart.  
  
Employee: Maybe at one time.  
  
George: Can I have it back?  
  
Employee: Sorry, a man over at the coinstar requested it.  
  
George: We'll see about this.  
  
COINSTAR  
  
Jerry and Elaine pass Kramer  
  
Jerry: You know what I'm just gonna go ring my milk up and go.  
  
Kramer: I'm starving, I'm gonna go over to the deli and get a sandwich, Elaine can you watch my coins?  
  
Elaine: Su-  
  
Kramer is already gone  
  
CHECKOUT  
  
Jerry puts his milk on the belt. The man in front of him puts down the divider.  
  
Jerry: Excuse me, why the divider?  
  
Shopper: Pardon?  
  
Jerry: It's just that, my item was not that close to your goods, I don't see the problem.  
  
Shopper: The problem is I don't want the clerk to ring it up on my bill.  
  
Jerry: You don't think I'd stop them.  
  
Shopper: No.  
  
Jerry: So you're saying I would let you pay for my milk then just take off screaming and jumping with joy that I scammed you into buying my milk.  
  
Shopper: That's right.  
  
Jerry pauses  
  
He grabs a five out of his wallet and throws it onto the belt, then grabs the guys potato chips along with his milk and runs out of the store  
  
Jerry (From a distance): Where's your divider now?!  
  
Elaine is watching the coinstar as the employee followed by George approaches  
  
Elaine (thinking) "what is that sound?"  
  
Rree rree rree  
  
Elaine: Make that sound stop!  
  
Rree rree rree  
  
Elaine turns sharply knocking coins into the machine  
  
Kramer returns to see this  
  
Kramer: What are you doing, did you keep count!  
  
Elaine gives a discouraging look  
  
Kramer: Ruined, I'm ruined!  
  
Kramer (over-dramatized): Why, Whhhhhyyyyyy!  
  
Elaine (biting her lip): rree rree rree.  
  
Music plays out 


End file.
